Lately, on instagram

1. Atticus needs to keep up.
2. First day of public school boycott.
3. Fynn working more cooperatively than anyone and asking for more work. I'm thinking we should start working in earnest this year. I wanted to wait.
4. Providence with her new dog.
5. New haircut!

Did I leave you hanging?

A (laundry that needs to be folded) or B (big brother time!)...A or B....

It's B folks! (some of you seemed to jump the gun and give my laundry folding way too much credit)


That would be a pink balloon, but I will believe it when I see it. :) We have had a string of super cute boys round these parts lately.

Here is the rundown. (you can click on the picture to make it bigger)

A Year and Change Later

The beginning of last summer:

And the end of this one:


Note my teenage daughter


And after making them do that, we squirted them down with water.

Confessions

I secretly love TLC reality. Specifically, My Big, Fat, Gypsy Wedding and Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta, Bridesmaids. The first show I just find so interesting. The second, it's just funny. I like the bridesmaid addition better than the wedding dress. It generally has more drama and people fighting.

Yo Gabba Gabba is the worst show ever. How do they get such a variety of fairly popular people on it? We watch it anyway. It keeps Atticus happy.

Sonic happy hour is my favorite. The kids love it, too.

Did you know consuming 1/3 of a bottle of kid gummy vitamins is not a big deal, unless they have iron? It's information confirmed by poison control. Fynn opened the child-proof lid and ate some. Then he felt really guilty. He didn't mean to, it just happened. That poor boy tries so hard to please, but his impulsive little self sometimes takes over.

Providence talked me into a dog. Yep. She did. It was just getting so pathetic. I mean, that's all she talks about when she goes over to someone's house. So, now it's the ultimate threat. We are now the owners of a black dachshund-ish dog named Toothless. You know, like from How to Train Your Dragon.

Jeremy got a small dose of homeschooling Providence. He sent me several texts with in 5 minutes. She had already shut down and refused to read. I felt validated.

Then, there is this.

a) I need to fold the giant pile of clean laundry
b) He's going to be a big brother

This and that

Here are the few pictures I have actually taken on the real camera.

Attiucs likes to paint.

He's pretty serious about it.

We also made a new batch of hair gel bags. Always fun.


See, he puts a shirt on occassionally.


Sweet, sleeping baby. He is looking rather old, even in his sleep. I never repainted the little boys room. It's a manly pink.

How to handle biting....words from the questionably wise and weary

I would like to preface this by saying that if you don't have a biter, I hope you glean some small understanding of what it is like to be a parent of one. Don't jump to the conclusion that biting is a result of bad parenting. It's like saying your are a horrible parent because your child hits, pushes, talks back, says mean things, bullies...fill in the blank. Jackson and Providence both were bitten multiple times at school. I am so glad the first question out of my mouth was: "Well, what did they do?" I never got angry or upset at the teachers or other parents. I never demanded to know who did it. I was completely aware that it happened and happened quickly. I was also aware that my kids may have just been at fault in this situation. So, be a little understanding. That little baby in your arms could be the next biter.

So, there are biters and then there are hardcore biters. The gifted and talented amongst the biters, so to speak.

Fynn is of the later variety. Coupled with his intense personality, his fight for justice and his desperation to fairness of the toddler variety, you have a challenge. In our house, this has been going on for years. It started around the time he was one. At first, it was the normal, exploratory biting. It quickly turned into the angry kind.

Why do kids bite? I did a lot of research on this topic. First of all, it usually works. The biter gets whatever he wanted back. It also feels good for the kid who is doing the biting. He is angry and frustrated and when he bites much of that is released (think grown up punching a whole in the wall). Little kid brains think: if it feels good to me, it feels good for everyone. Fynn has added, in his later years of biting, a bit of retaliation. If you hurt him or make him angry, he may just bite. He has gotten to the point where he will express his anger with his words first. Then, if he feels his point has not been made (usually when his sister ignores his expression of feelings), he bites.

What's the worst advice you can give? "Just bite them back. They will see it hurts."

Well, of course they will see it hurts. Duh. You are giving toddlers an awful lot of credit to assume that they can put that much together. They are not empathetic creatures by nature. Their little worlds revolve around them. When they are bitten: it hurts. When they bite: it feels good. Insanity is assuming a toddler will think: well, it hurts when I am bitten, maybe I should express my anger in other ways.

When a child bites, they aren't thinking about the other person. They are thinking about themselves. That rationale just doesn't make any sense and it doesn't work. If that's all it takes to stop a biter, there wouldn't be any. They do get bitten back. They get bitten back by their peers and sometimes by grown ups and they don't stop. If it happened to work for you or your neighbor's friend or some distant cousin of a relative; I would argue that the child was not a true biter and was planning on moving on to something else anyway.

My other issue with this is that I am the grown up. I can't bite my own child. I am the model, the standard for behavior. Not that I am perfect of anything, but I should at least practice enough self control to show my child I don't bite.

So, how do you help a biter? You set up successful situations. You know their triggers. You watch them like a hawk. It means hovering over them and intervening the moment you know it is about to happen. It also means time. Lots of it. And lots of patience. I think finding other biters to play with sounds like a smashing idea. Then, if it happens, no one will be upset about it.

We read lots of social stories. I even wrote one for Fynn. We talked a lot about what you are allowed to bite. We talk all the time about what to do with your anger that is okay. We spend lots and lots of time talking about and teaching empathy to our kids. On the upside, Fynn is turning into a very empathetic child with a very high emotional intelligence. This also means he now needs to fight for justice for others, but oh well. He is going to change the world.

Slowly and surely we have seen improvement. I still watch him. It's become such a habit that I probably should back off a little now. We also respect his limits. When he asks to leave a place, we do. Things can go down hill quickly after that. Lately, his biting has been few and far between and limited to family members. Not being in school helps tremendously (some experts even say it's best to just avoid large groups of kids, because it will happen).

So, the next time your child is bitten, have a little empathy. If you need some lessons, you can let me know. I've become quite a capable teacher.

Daredevils and a haircut

When you have a big brother like Fynn, you have to get over any fears you have. So, Atticus is becoming a little more adventurous, a little more quickly than I think he would be with out such a brother.



Speaking of children who have ridiculous control of their body and no fear.

He's going to be too tall for gymnastics, but maybe diving?

Fynn got a haircut and now he looks old. I hate haircuts for this reason.

Reflections on stayinig home- 1 year later

My teacher friends are all heading back for inservice today. I am not. I still think staying home is way, way, way, way easier than working. I mean, hands down. I frequently wonder how I did it.

We did have to make some adjustments. We went down to one car. It's not always easy, but it works. We do live in Kerrville, so getting the car isn't hard. Jeremy does have to spend some days in Boerne or San Antonio. June was hard because he was shuttling back and forth from Pleasanton. But, it's settled down. Thankfully, it's cheaper for his company to provide a rental when he goes to Lubbock, Abilene, Corpus and McAllen then to reimburse him for mileage. It would be much harder to be car-less for a week.

Fynn has gotten more attached to me then ever. There are a few choice people he stays with when I am gone. Very choice and very few. He goes to grown up Sunday School. He will not set foot in his class. That's okay. He can now sit quietly for two hours. I would say that's a good thing. We ended up throwing in the towel at Mother's Day Out.

We are still homeschooling and Jackson will start this year. We are going to try to add in the homeschool co-op in our area and we will see how it goes. Providence needs as much social time as she can get. She misses spending all day with lots of friends.

I will say, my house was easier to keep clean when we weren't in it all day. Although, it only takes 10 minutes to go from clean to disaster. So, I guess it doesn't really matter.

It may have been different if I had come from a different career. As a teacher, you spend 8 hours having to be incredibly patient with other people's kids. It left little for my own kids. I was so spent by the end of the day.

I still have horrible guilt for not providing for my family. I still frequently feel like a bum for not working, probably because it is easier. My work load has lessened. It doesn't seem to matter that my entire salary would have been going to daycare and private school for Jackson and Providence. It will just be something I have to work through.

I still think staying home is not for everyone. People have to do what works best for their family. I don't think moms who work are giving their kids to someone else to raise. (Large groups of stay-at-home moms still terrify me.) These moms are making a choice for their family. Whether it's because they know it makes them a better mother when they work or so their kids can go to the doctor or any other reason, it's what works for their family.

I know I have said it before, but I think that moms are far too judgmental in this area. We all need support. Especially in the church. There should always be an option for women who work, not just moms who do.

Happy Birthday Party to me!

We went to my parents for my birthday party! Yep, in a week I will be 30. I don't feel all grown up and together. Maybe it's because I speak toddler most days and use short 2 word phrases.

My big kids were not in the mood for a picture, but they are still cute.

20 month comparison

Jackson and Atticus are on the top. They look so much alike.

20 months!

Buddy, you have come a long way in 20 months! I can't believe we have hit 20!

You are Mr. Social. It still amazes me how you will just go to anyone and not care. You sit down next to random grown up and strike up a conversation. Although Providence is also very extroverted, she shies away from adults. You do not. It's nice to be able to drop you off at the nursery with out tears or fuss. You just go in.

You spend many nights in your bed. All night long. Your daddy and I didn't believe that this was possible. I do enjoy your little feet toddling into my room at 7 in the morning.

You growl when you are mad and it's funny. We laugh and you usually move on. You do have meltdowns, but they usually only occur when you are tired. They end quickly and you move on. You are turning into quite the little manipulator. When daddy told you to sit down, you decided to give everyone kisses. Sneaky little dude. You are sharp as a tack. How can anyone say no to kisses?

You love, love, love to read. I think we spend close to an hour reading to you each day. Luckily, there are 3 people who can read to you. And mommy makes your sister tell your stories using the pictures. She doesn't like to, but you can talk her into it. You have some of your books memorized.

I have no idea what normal talking is anymore, but you talk a lot. Your constant chatter in the background is a norm in our house. When it stops, we go looking.

You love trucks and cars. They keep you happy when we are driving. You also love seeing the deer and birds. You love to sit and outside and listen for the dogs, too. You love animals from far away, but aren't always too sure about them up close.

In 4 short months you will be 2!

To all you tv shunners

After doing this, Fynn exclaimed: "look, my made a t and a o!". Thank you Super Why and Word World, because we haven't started this at all.

Okay, maybe he was listening while I worked with Providence. That at least sounds better.

I think it's much easier to work with kids when they show signs of readiness. Maybe he is and I need to buckle down and get to work. On the other hand, maybe we should add Sesame Street into our viewing line up.

How to surrvive an amusement park with 4 kids on a hot and crowded day

We spent 14 at Disneyland and routinely do long days at Sea World with a 7,6,3 and 1. Throw in a mom and two kids who don't like crowds and a dad who doesn't like being hot. I have developed some tips for surviving these trips.

1. Take those expectations and lower them.

2. Now lower them a little more.

3. Keep them hydrated! This is not a day to insist on water. Give them the crap they only get on special occasions. Sprite, Hi-C, contains no juice lemonade and Fanta! In the long run, your happier kids will thank you. Worried about sugaring them up? Don't. It's so stinkin' hot that it doesn't matter.

4. You know how you feel when you are hot/tired/over-crowded? Your kids feel it, too. Tenfold. The deal is your small children have an excuse to blow up and melt down. You do not. It's time to put the big girl panties on, take a deep breath and act your age. Grown up blow ups are never pretty.

5. Feed them often. Thankfully, Sea World doesn't care if you bring food in. I would imagine at other parks I would either a) lie that my kids have horrible food allergies or b) resign myself to spending the money on a hot day.

6. Expect some meltdowns. It's better going in if you know someone is going to be crying or pouting at some point. Remember, the more upset they get, the better it is to stay extra calm. Kid meltdowns feed off grown up ones.

7. Take breaks and rest. If you don't make it somewhere, it's not the end of the world.

8. When you have the age spread we do, sometimes dividing and conquering is ideal. The big kids go one way, while the little kids hang out in another place. When you have a certain 3 year old who is upset because he is too short, ice cream makes everything better.

9. Let everyone pick one thing to do. As long as you hit those things, consider your day a success.

10. With 4 kids, we take a single stroller. Our 3 year old walks. I can't wait for the day that Jeremy and I can don backpacks and take no strollers.

11. Know your triggers and your kids triggers. If you are already well aware of what sets everyone off, you can be prepared. Like I said, it's going to happen at some point.

12. When your child gets stung on his tongue by a bee while trying to drink his sippy cup, get the First Aid people there. Or you can carry tweezers. Credit cards don't work on a 1 year old's tongue. After the sting, allow 1 year old to buy stuffed shark.

13. Decide on souvenirs before you arrive. If it's not, make it clear before you get there. Because we have season passes to Sea World, the general rule is no, unless it's your birthday or you get stung by a bee. At Disneyland, everyone got to pick on thing.

14. Bottom line is, you are there to build memories and have fun. If everyone is miserable, just leave. There is a point when it is not longer worth it.