A day at the lake

We had to go to the lake on Saturday to see the birds. The kids had fun swimming in the rain. The lake is disappearing. It's sad. Hopefully it will fill be back up soon. It is interesting watching it dry up. The vegetation comes back so quickly!

We also visited a friend's new, sweet baby. Providence got a little practice in.

Phone pics

1. Beyblades-the latest obsession. They are glorified tops. Fynn can play with them for hours.
2. Just chillin, watching "gabba gab" (yo gabba gabba)
3. I guess her dog was scared. She had covered it in her night lights.
4. Atticus decides to give a bug he found a ride in his stroller.
5. Sleeping baby face.

More of DC

Providence did end up getting a bird. Her dog ran away while we were gone and did not come back or turn up. She had already been sad and crying, because I was gone. So, she talked my dad and mom into getting a bird to keep at their house. She's pretty amazing. Those big brown eyes can be irresistible.

The other kids did well. Atticus asked for me, but he was easily redirected. Fynn didn't even ask about us. That surprised me, but I am glad he had a good time. He did get to go to Wal-Mart a bunch, so that may have helped.

We were able to visit the National Archives. We viewed a copy of the Magna Carta from the 1490s, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.

We went to the National Art Museum. I got to browse the stuff the kids found boring when we took them.

I think I need a swan candelabra.

We went to the statue gardens. Yea, there is a reason we didn't take the kids to something that was just dying to be climbed on.


It rained on us while we were there.


On Wednesday I browsed the American History museum all by myself, while Jeremy was at his conference.


The reflecting pool was filled. It was being cleaned the last time we went.


We visited the library of Congress again. It was much more pleasant with out children. Jackson even asked why we went back to that boring place. Um, because it has every single book in it! Plus, it has awesome architecture and murals.


We were planning on visiting Ford's Theater, but it was closed due to play practice. This is the house across the street that Lincoln died in.

Ford's Theater.

By far, the best thing was coming home to these 4 kids.

Home again!

I can't wait to go home to see my munchkins. I've missed them terribly. As much fun as I had with Jeremy and enjoyed my time alone, I didn't think it would be this hard. Of course, leaving your kids for the first time while being a hormonal pregnant mess may have skewed things a bit.
1. We did a Tour of the capital. Jeremy said the tour he went to previously was much better. Our guide wasn't into interesting and random details.
2. I thought this statue may give us the perfect name for a little girl! After all, it's a sister of Providence.
3-4. So, at heart, I am a big nerd. I loved the library of congress the last time we came. Unfortunately, it's not the most exciting place for the 6 and under crowd. I was able to take my time and look at everything. It was awesome.

Hats and shoes

1. Lincoln's hat.
2. The ruby red shows. I am ready for them to transport me home to my babies.
3. The reflecting pool is filled! It was empty the last time we came.
4. I told Jeremy we had to get at least one picture together.
5. We had cupcakes from the place that has the DC Cupcakes show on TLC. We also stopped at Dean and Delucas. I was a tad disappointed that I had used dessert on cupcakes. That place looked like heaven. And their chai put Starbuck's to shame. I hope they have that tea in a package I can order.

A Rainy Day

We had a whole day to ourselves to wander around. It's was tons of fun. We managed to find almost everything the kids requested. The president's signature may have come on a post card and we couldn't find a crane.
1. The art museum
2. Space museum (Jeremy needed a new space pen)
3 & 4. We had to see the Titanoboa exhibit at the Natural History Museum. It sounded like a SyFy movie.
5. A rainy day in DC.

Lately, on instagram

1. Jackson is doing lots of science at GD's house. He is learning about how gears work.
2. My goofy girl
3. Having fun with GD
4. I had a rainy flight. I must have had a great pilot. Despite a few bumps, it was surprisingly smooth.
5. The hotel lobby. Some movie with Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington was filmed here.

Living in a Shadow

We try so hard, as parents, to build our kids' self esteems. After all, I firmly believe I can be one of the most successful people at ruining their self esteems. So, we try very hard to build confidence. We want our kids to know they can. We praise the effort, not the final result. We point out what they have overcome and what hard work can accomplish. We do all the "right" things.

Despite all of that, my daughter has come to believe she is living in a shadow. A very long shadow cast by her big brother.

Yesterday, she made a string of rather poor choices and needed a consequence enforced. So, she had to pay me for doing something that she chose not to do. I had set the timer, given her warnings and she didn't do it. As she doesn't have any money at the moment, she had to pay me with a toy for a day.

She proceeded to fall into an hour long mess of crying and screaming about it. Here are the things she yelled from her room.

"I am the terriblest one in this family! Everyone is better than me! I am terrible because I hate doing the dishes and cleaning up."
"I hate me! I can't do anything."
"Jackson is always better than me. He is faster than me. He always wins. I am just a loser."
"I am stupid! I am just a stupid girl."
"I'm a jerk!"
"You think I am a jerk."
"everyone is always mad at me!"

Eventually, after attempting to argue with her, I just held her. I told her all the things she could do and all the things I was so proud of her for doing. It just doesn't seem to help.

She repeated this over an over again for an hour. It's not a new thing either. Anytime she messes up and we get on to her, this same event occurs. I can't ignore her when she chooses not to listen. We have very realistic expectations of her behavior. But, we do expect her to practice a little self control. But, she may not trap the dog under the laundry basket.

But, somewhere, I missed something. At some point, she developed this idea that she isn't good enough. I don't think she's making it up. I don't think it's the master manipulator coming out in her. Maybe I am wrong, but this kind of self talk comes up anytime she tries anything that will require a little work. If you heard her fall apart, you would probably be convinced. Deep down inside, I think she believes it. It's not normal "you hate me" stuff that girls tend to say a lot.

But, where do we go from here? How do we stop this and turn it around? What did I miss? What did I say or do?

Where did I go wrong? Ultimately, it seems like this is my fault. Parents play such a big role in this. She knows she has a speech delay. We don't bring a lot of attention to it. Maybe we should talk about it more? I kept her out of public school for this reason, and it seems I can't escape it. I know exactly what would happen to her. I saw the end result and it wasn't pretty.

I am just concerned. I want so much to raise a confident little girl who can face the world. I know she can, but how do I convince her? Suddenly, I don't have an answer. The experts don't seem to, either.

47 months

Yikes!

I am looking forward to 4. You seem to be settling, although I don't want to speak too soon. You are maturing and learning how to deal with your big feelings.

Not that you still don't get a little grumpy.

You love to play hard. You can take whatever anyone dishes out. You are tough to the core physically, but still very tender emotionally. Is this going to be the year you end up in the ER with a broken bone?

You love Beyblades, Ninjago and legos. You love to build and deconstruct. You are extremely curious about how things work together. You love figuring out what causes things to happen and are quite the investigator.

You can be very pensive and enjoy going to play in your room alone.

Happy 47 months to you!