Thoughts one month from my 5th child:
1. I waiver between excitement and fear. Seriously, 5 kids? I feel like I manage 4 somewhat. What am I going to do with 5?
2. Atticus was such an easy addition. No one got overly upset or jealous. What's going to happen this time? Adding a 3rd was rough, will adding a 5th follow that pattern? Is Atticus going to lose his cool when a new baby is around?
3. Please, oh please, don't let me go past my due date.
4. Please, oh please, make this my shortest labor and not my longest. Although, I will just be happy to be in labor after having Atticus.
5. How bizarre is it that a big part of me is completely giddy about being in labor? (and the plan at the moment is to deliver at home with a midwife.) I have developed hospital-phobia. Seriously.
6. How many sleepers do I really need? I have 8. Is that enough? I can't remember. Providence mostly wore onesies because it was hot. 5th baby and I am mostly over the cutsie outfits. They are nice, but in all honesty, the never fit correctly. I did buy a coordinating Christmas outfit for Providence and the baby, but the baby is wearing leggings and a shirt. You know, because a 1 month old in a dress = all you see is a diaper and cute belly.
7. I still worry about stuff that could go wrong. It haunts me. Once the baby is born, I will move on to worrying about SIDs, weird diseases, kidnapping and car accidents.
8. Will I finally get a baby with hair? I had hair as baby. I should get at least one. I dreamed the baby had hair. Providence had some. On that note, who will the baby look like?
9. I have to go in for a real sonogram. After the fiasco and extreme stress when they thought something was wrong with Atticus that would require immediate surgery and strongly pointed to a genetic disorder, I am a little gun shy. It turned out to be nothing. Can I demand to see the radiologist to check things over if they think something is wrong? This will avoid a) way more stress than I need and b) $700 for a level 2 sonogram. On the lighter side of that, I can double check gender. You never know when things can grow.
10. My pregnancy dreams have been more psychotic than they normally are. This has turned me into an insomniac.
11. I think November 5 sounds like an excellent birthday. If anyone can arrange that, I'd be much obliged. I guess I should just be hoping for a November baby and not a December one. My official due date is the 18th/19th, so I suppose that could be iffy.